Another month, another special guest for Miingle HQ. This time, it’s Evan Marc Katz, author, matchmaker and dating and relationship coach.
Evan helps “smart, strong, successful women who have everything but the guy.” In this video interview, we cover dating apps, going back to an ex and becoming the CEO of your love life…
Who is Evan Marc Katz?
Evan Marc Katz is a dating and relationship coach with countless romance success stories to his name. He specialises in helping women to connect with and understand men better, but once upon a time, his vocation looked very different…
In his 20s, Evan was living in LA trying to make it as a comedy screenwriter. He came in third place on Matt Damon and Ben Affleck’s Project Greenlight – a behind-the-scenes TV show that documented hopefuls as they worked to produce their first movie. And, while Evan didn’t make a name for himself on the Hollywood Big Screen, a different kind of spotlight beckoned.
During a stint answering the customer service phones for an online dating company, Evan realised he was overdelivering, helping callers with much more than just resetting their password. As he dished out advice on profile description and photos, he saw a major opportunity.
A year later, he wrote a book – A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating. A website followed, dedicated to helping singles with their dating profiles. And 17 years later, he’s one of the most sought-after dating gurus in the business.
You can check out the full video interview below. Alternatively, whet your appetite with these three no-nonsense rules from Evan himself….
Rule number 1: Stop indulging in negative dating patterns
We quizzed Evan on a common Miingle complaint – women who are stuck in a pattern of choosing the wrong romantic matches. Evan’s stance on this one is firm but fair. Women are not magnets. They do not attract certain men. They choose certain men. And that’s an important distinction to make.
“As long as you keep on choosing the same kind of men, you can’t be terribly surprised that your definition of men is ‘emotionally unavailable’, ‘low character’, ‘disappointing’, ‘terrible communicators’. We have to essentially treat this like a diet. If your diet is ice cream and red meat and fried chicken, we need to give you something that’s tasty and healthy. That is something that is long-term sustainable, instead of eating the world’s worst food and wondering why you can’t lose weight.”
Rule number 2: Know when to call it quits
“If a relationship is difficult, and it drains your energy, get out now. Don’t get by for two years. Or three months in, you’re like, he’s not that nice. Right? Get out, don’t make it work!”
“You are the CEO of your love life. Men are interns applying for a job with you. If you don’t like how the intern’s performing, it’s incumbent upon you to get rid of the intern. Don’t expect the intern to go away on his own.”
Rule number 3: Stop putting dating apps on a pedestal
Evan says that people confuse dating apps with matchmaking, which is totally unrealistic and not their role:
“The goal of a dating app is not to figure out if man is your husband. It’s impossible. You shouldn’t try. Some people are like, how can I tell from this photo whether we’re compatible or not? You can’t! Trying to figure out from this photo, from this text, whether you have a future (with someone) is not only a waste of time, it’s counterproductive. It’s no fun. The medium itself is the problem. We’re expecting this medium to do more work than it can. It’s an introduction medium.”
Want more? Watch the full video interview below…
You can find out more about Evan and how he works with his clients by visiting his website here.