“And now you’re in the friend zone” – who would’ve thought that these famous words spoken by our beloved friend Joey would turn into a repeatedly spoken phrase for years to come.
As much as we don’t like to admit it, many of us have found ourselves in our very own off-screen Ross and Rachel love story, and mistakenly – in the dreaded friend zone.
Anyone that has been friendzoned and has found themselves in this awkwardly annoying phase can firmly say that it’s no fun place to be stuck in. So hold onto your hats people, as we are here to provide you with some top pointers on how to get out of the friend zone, and make sure you never get stuck in that uncomfortable place ever again.
Am I in the friend zone?
Before we go any further, let’s take it back a step and actually answer the big question: “what is the friend zone, exactly, and what does it look like?” The Urban Dictionary defines the friend zone as a “state in which one party is keen to develop a romantic relationship with someone, who doesn’t have the same emotional feelings and would rather just stay friends.”
There are the very obvious tell-tale signs that make it clear whether you are in the friend zone or not. If you’re referred to as the confidant and relationship advice giver that is the shoulder to cry on whenever heartbreak occurs, then chances are you are the safe, go-to friend rather than a romantic interest. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a bad place to be, but it is definitely friend zone territory.
So if you’re ever unsure and find yourself pondering on the question – am I in the friend zone, take a minute to assess the situation and try to read the signs to how the person in front of you is acting towards you and the vibe they are giving off. And if you ever hear the phrases “I just want to be friends” or “I think of you as sister/brother,” chances are that you’ve been friendzoned.
How to get out of the friend zone with a girl
Now that we’ve come to grips with what the friend zone looks like, it’s time to figure out how to get out of it!
This can look very different for men and women due to our difference in emotional needs and maturity, as well factors such as gender roles in a relationship and hormone imbalance.
Taking all of this into account here are the top tips when it comes to escaping the friend zone with a girl:
Change your behaviour towards her
Women love feeling special, especially when it comes to being wooed by a potential partner. She doesn’t want to feel like you view her in the same light as the other females in your life, she wants to know and feel how you view her differently – and she wants to see it in your behaviour towards her.
From complimenting her, to prolonging eye contact and giving her more of your undivided attention and time – these are all ways that signal your interest to shift from just being friends to exploring things to the next level.
Have confidence in yourself – and show it!
There is nothing women love more than a confident man. Don’t get me wrong, there is a very fine line between being confident and cocky, which if mistakenly crossed can have serious negative repercussions.
Carrying yourself with confidence with humility and gentleness, is the key to getting any female’s attention. From the way you dress to the way you speak – being sure in yourself is a complete reassurance as well as a massive turn on!
Give her “the look”
We all know the look. The mix of bedroom eyes and the sex smile – it’s the I want you now look. Creating sexual chemistry between two people can be quite tricky, a look can hold so much power and change the dynamics of a relationship completely.
Over 70% of communication is through body language, so before you even say anything a strong connection can be made through just the way you look at someone. So, let her know you want her and get those sparks flying.
How to get out of the friend zone with a guy
Let’s face it, as much as we may hate to admit it men are generally wired very differently to women – especially when it comes to expressing their feelings and understanding emotions.
It can feel like an impossible task for a girl to conquer and defeat the friend zone, especially with society saying she should be the one being “chased” and pursued. But putting all of that nonsense aside, let’s explore the most effective ways to escape the friend zone with a guy:
Play it cool
Guys scare easily. If they feel cornered or pressured into something, chances are they are going to want to run away and avoid the situation. You are at risk of losing him altogether if you try to force him into anything he isn’t 100% comfortable with.
Getting out of the friend zone with a guy takes patience. Give him the signs and signals while providing that important space to figure it out and come to you on his own accord, without feeling pressured or forced into it.
Date other guys
I know you may think this sounds like you’re at risk of falling into playing a bit of a game here but hear me out, guys love a bit of healthy competition. It’s amazing how quickly a guy can start to notice a girl when she starts getting attention from other men.
Be careful not to date within his friendship circle, as you may be falling into damaging bro code territory. Keep it chilled and fun without dating too seriously, especially if your feelings lie elsewhere….
Get his attention!
Sometimes the biggest challenge with escaping from the friend zone with a guy is that they are a little clueless to the situation. So grab his attention and spell it out for him. Flirt with him, dress up a little more when he’s around and give him that special one on one time that you don’t give other guys.
Before you know it you may even feel confident enough to tell him how you feel and finally get out of the friend zone!
How to get out of the friend zone with an ex
You had a whirlwind romance, there were some ups and downs, but it was undoubtedly a love story for the books and one you will never forget. Unfortunately, you were blindsided by a sudden “I think we should end this” and now you’re just friends.
How did it all end so quickly? Where did it all go wrong? Did all their feelings just disappear overnight? These may be questions that revolve around constantly in your head as you are trying to piece together the puzzle (as well as your broken heart) back together.
And before you know it, you’ve gone from being the love of their life, to another friend or acquaintance. You insist on staying friends, even though it is killing you inside, in fear of totally letting them go and completely losing them.
Getting out of the friend zone with an ex is a different mindfield, as there is already so much history there. This is someone you’ve already had a full on relationship with, so it’s hard to consider them a normal “friend” after that.
Before doing everything in your power to escape the friend zone with your ex, really sit with yourself and make sure this is what you want. You guys obviously ended things for a reason- double-check and think back to the relationship, what was good and what was bad.
You may be forgetting the grief or misery the relationship actually caused the two of you and putting aside the reasons why the relationship ended, maybe it was for the best. It’s important to be sure this is the right move with someone you have already been romantically involved with.
Honesty is the best policy
Escaping the friend zone with an ex is different than getting out of it with a friend you have no past ties with. They’ve already seen and experienced your vulnerable side, and know things about you no one else does.
Honesty is definitely the best policy here. Chances are they know you pretty well and can already tell if you’re hiding something. Opening up and telling them how you still feel is the best way to either get out of this unwanted friend zone and give it another shot, or know exactly where you stand and go your separate ways and completely move on for good.
Getting out of the friend zone once and for all
So, there you have it folks – some tips on how to get out of the friend zone. Sure, being friendzoned can be a difficult and frustrating, especially if you have developed a strong friendship with someone and are afraid your feelings can potentially scare off or jeopardize your friendly bond. This can result in someone being stuck in the friend zone for ages, out of fear of rejection or creating potential awkwardness.
Taking action as soon as you can and following these steps will not only give you the answer you are searching for, but also get you out of the dreaded and annoying friend zone much quicker than anticipated!