Dating can be difficult and stressful regardless of where you are — but, as any single city-dweller will inform you, big-city dating in a metropolis is an entirely separate beast.
The trouble with big city dating
No-one moves to the city with the intention of falling in love. If you are one of those people lucky enough to live in the city, you’re probably hustling to forge your way ahead in some super competitive field, not to mention trying to squeeze a trip to the gym or a get-together with friends. It’s therefore unsurprising that an overwhelming proportion of city populations are turning to online dating. After all, what other method of finding love is going to give you a better return on investment? That’s just some savvy math to these high-flying city types!
The benefits of online dating
How, precisely, does one use online dating effectively? How does one use it in order to overcome the challenges of modern living instead of adding to them?
Dating apps make connecting with your fellow singletons so much more convenient, and organising first dates far less awkward — after all, no-one is using these apps to find a pen pal! Dating apps generally work off GPS, so setting your preferred distance allows you to meet nearby singletons whom you may be crossing paths with but will never bump into in real life. Plus, the common ground of living in the same part of town is an automatic conversation starter.
A lot of apps also utilise information from your social networks in order to find more matches, all of them connected by the friends you share online. This has the added benefit of discouraging ghosting and encouraging courtesy, seeing as these people are friends of friends of friends… or something.
The trouble with online dating
Online dating is great, and there’s no doubt that it’s revolutionised love on a fundamental level. However, it isn’t without its downfalls.
Take New York City. In the Big Apple, there is a pronounced gender skew: single women outnumber single men by as many as 200,000! Add to this the fact that the city is renowned for its hook-up culture — not surprising when you consider it’s essentially an island crammed full of sexy, dynamic, go-getting individuals inhabiting bars until last call at 4am. This environment can make commitment a bigger deal than in other cities, and dating apps do sometimes add to this. In a city where the dating pool is already wide open, dating apps make the choices seem almost infinite. It can be hard to know when you’ve found ‘The One’ and stop swiping!
Finding that happy medium
Big city online dating can be time-consuming, there’s no doubt about it. To really optimise your chances of finding that someone special through online dating, we at Miingle recommend spending at least half an hour a day on your search, if you’re serious about finding a long-term partner as opposed to a one-night stand.
If you do have the luxury of time and you enjoy the process, then we also recommend following a few guidelines. For example, it’s a great idea to speak on the phone prior to meeting. Why? Because you can gauge a huge amount from the human voice alone — tone, personality, sense of humour — things that simply don’t translate as well over a screen.
Finally, always prioritise your safety over anything else. Always arrange your dates to be in a public place, and let a friend know where you are going, whom you are meeting and (if you live together) what time you expect you to be home. Ask them to check in with you at some point in the evening.
Big city dating, whether online or in real life, doesn’t have to be artificial and emotionally draining. If you go into it knowing precisely what you’re seeking in a partner and ready to be a little open-minded, you might just be amazed at the success of the dates you go on!